


A Match Made in Hell

by RowdyRaven



Category: Hunter X Hunter, Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Barbatos Ex Machina, Battle, Crossover, Demons, Fantasy, Fights, Hisoka's Bungee Gum Nen Ability (Hunter X Hunter), Human vs. Demon, Lucifer vs. Hisoka, Magic, Mentioned Demon Brothers (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Mild One-Sided Sexual Tension, Nen (Hunter X Hunter), Royal Academy of Diavolo, hisoka being hisoka
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-14
Updated: 2020-11-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:47:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27560068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RowdyRaven/pseuds/RowdyRaven
Summary: Hisoka finds himself in the realm of demons, and one of its denizens isn't exactly happy to see him.One part of a collaboration with Ame (@aameenys) on Twitter. A full size version of the accompanying cover art for this fic can be found here:https://twitter.com/aameenys/status/1327679277681283073?s=19
Comments: 4
Kudos: 18





	A Match Made in Hell

Illumi had always told him he was going to hell. Gon's lanky beanpole brother-figure Leorio was always telling him to go there, for one reason or another. "You'll burn in hell, Hisoka." "There's a special circle of hell waiting for you, clown." It was an easy insult for those of little or simple mind. It had never bothered Hisoka in the slightest, until he actually ended up there. And don't get him wrong, death had been a pleasant, unexpected surprise. Hisoka had known nothing about it, which wasn't quite what he had in mind for his own death - he was more expecting a blaze of glory - but he couldn't complain. He just wished all those descriptions of this deep, dark, rotting abyss that was supposedly waiting for him had been correct. Where was he now? A courtroom? Far from the burning cesspit everyone had been threatening him with.

At least one part of the description was right - the place was swarming with demons. This room, in particular, had several small ones swirling about like intangible spirits, curious and untouchable, as well as a handful of larger, more imposing humanoids seated in large thrones. He sized them all up in turn. If he was going to take one of them on in a fight, he'd likely only get it once. On the far right, a young man with a shock of ginger hair. He looked strong. Hisoka could see right through that external façade, however. Enhancer most likely, probably about a 6. One along was a spindly looking creature, petite and effeminate. Some might say a kindred spirit. In the depths of those bright, amber eyes there was a power yet untapped. A transmuter, almost certainly, maybe 6.5. The next was a totally disinterested male, nose buried into a book. His uptight air and disrespectful posture made him seem aloof, but there were weaknesses there. A 7, perhaps, but a conjurer for sure. The remaining 3 were the most interesting of all. A faint glimmer of excitement sprung to life in Hisoka's apparently dead eyes.

A bowl of purple hair crowned the head of the third, who couldn't even bring himself to meet Hisoka's predatory gaze. He shuffled and squirmed nervously in his seat, a visible sweat forming on his face. Despite his cowardice, this pathetic looking demon was absolutely the third strongest. Hisoka could feel the faint touch of an aura stained bright orange, negative emotions hissing and biting at the surface, yearning for release. This alone would make him an 8. And a fun target. Oh to get under his skin and release the beast inside. Hisoka parted his lips for a quick suck of breath at the thought. Judging by his demeanour, he was likely a manipulator. 

The second strongest stared him down with bright blue eyes; he could have mistaken him for an angel, with those eyes and his bright white locks. But the fangs bared at him in a menacing grin defied his true identity. Hisoka smirked back, as wickedly as his face could muster, earning a tut and an upward twitch of the demon's top lip. "Can we just get this over with? This one's creepier than Solomon." Hisoka nearly laughed. Truly, the highest compliment to be called creepy by a literal denizen of the underworld. An emitter, definitely an 8, 8.5 at a push. And Hisoka believed, no, KNEW, he could push him, easily.

  
  


The last and absolutely the most formidable of this motley crew was a man with hair and eyes as dark as the aura surrounding him. He sat with his arms folded neatly at his chest, nary an emotion on his pale, perfect face. Hisoka liked this one. He didn't hide his authority, his power. It seeped out of him like tar - slow, steady, suffocating. And binding, Hisoka realised - he felt very much glued in place under its effects. If there was going to be a specialist in this group, it would be him. A true leader. Hisoka had only ever known one other man that radiated energy like him. The thought made his face fall somewhat. While the demon before him was every bit as beguiling as the Danchou - so similar in every way except for a few missing tattoos - he was not him. But if Hisoka was never going to get to fight him again, this shady imitation would have to make do. Hisoka gleefully bathed in the growing maleficent atmosphere as he briefly contemplated how he would go about getting his wish.

Well, if Hisoka was to be tried for his crimes, it would seem that these scrutinising figures would be his jury. And the judge...?

" **WELCOME** !" a jovial voice boomed from above. Hisoka tilted his head from his seat to see a broad individual, arms outstretched. "To the Royal Academy of Diavolo!" _Academy?_ Oh now this really was hell. Hisoka sneered with distaste - he'd never even attended school in his youth, never mind now as an adult. His unfriendly reaction to such a warm reception didn't seem to faze the host. It was in this moment, as the raven-haired demon’s aura receded like the tide, that Hisoka realised he was now free and unbound. He took a moment to readjust himself in his seat.

"I'm sure you must be feeling quite shocked," the overly-familiar demon continued from his vantage. "But without further delay, I should congratulate you on being chosen for our student exchange program!" _Exchange program?_ Hisoka leaned back in his chair, tilting far enough to rock the front legs off the ground.

"Exchange program?" he purred, cocking an interested eyebrow. The tawny, brawny demon chuckled heartily. 

"I probably should explain!" he grinned, almost bashfully. "My name is Lord Diavolo, and I am the future king of the Devildom. The brothers sitting below me are my student council. Together we run this Academy for the betterment of not just our demon brethren, but with aims to bettering the relationship between the three realms as a whole. This exchange program," he pointed a long, black-tipped finger at Hisoka, "and you, our new student, are the first step to us realising this goal." Hisoka leaned his elbow casually on the back of his chair, continuing to swing nonchalantly. Out of the corner of his eye he could see the black haired demon beginning to seethe; he had closed his eyes, but his shoulders were tense and raised, almost brushing his ears. Well, the good news Hisoka had gleaned out of that was that he probably _wasn't_ dead. Hurray.

"I hope the demon you sent in my place was a strong one," Hisoka teased. He pointed at the empty seat on the far right of the bench, beside the red-haired demon. "I won't settle for anything less than one of your council. So it better, at LEAST, be him." Diavolo blinked, his eyebrows raised in surprise, but otherwise unmoved.

"Watch your mouth, human," the haughty, suited demon growled, legs now tightly crossed at the knee. "Need I remind you that you're dealing with demons? It would serve you to be on your best behaviour."

"Now now, Lucifer, I'm sure he's only joking with you," Diavolo chided gently with a laugh. "I apologise for Lucifer, as my advisor and the Avatar of Pride, he has his own way of protecting me and my interests."

Hisoka rolled his eyes from the prince onto the figure antagonising him from the bench, meeting Lucifer's unwavering blood-red gaze. Hisoka's tongue peeked out of his lips, sweeping across them swiftly before returning to his salivating mouth. This slight move alone sent a visible shiver of unease up Lucifer, his shoulders raising and tautening again momentarily as a disgusted grimace marred his otherwise beautiful face. That only served to spur Hisoka on more; in fact, he had begun to completely ignore the chattering of anyone else in the room. 

"Uhh, Lucifer, how about you help introduce our new student to how things work around here?" the prince stammered after a brief monologue, his air of confidence and joy faltering in the face of Hisoka's clear disdain. Without breaking eye contact with Hisoka, the prince's right-hand smiled. It wasn't a pleasant smile by any means, but that didn't irk Hisoka at all. In fact, it only added to the allure of his next words.

"Of course, my lord." With a grand sweep of his long coat, the demon stood to his full height, now towering over Hisoka, still seated below. Hisoka's lips parted as the corners of his mouth curled up into an aroused simper. "Come along, human, let me show you what to expect from your time here." Lucifer stepped quickly down from the raised bench, brushing past Hisoka as he made his way to the large double doors. Every click of his perfectly polished shoes against the slate floor sent tingles through Hisoka. As if his body was moving on its own, he stood and followed. It took a conscious effort to straighten himself and walk properly, continuing to maintain his cool composure, as they moved from the large gathering hall to a series of corridors. The demon leading the way was a lot calmer now, his shoulders relaxed as his arms swayed rhythmically with his steps, his long legs taking very precise strides. Hisoka kept up easily, almost lazily, reading every little detail of his guide. They had travelled in absolute silence for a few minutes, heading out of the academy into a sprawling courtyard outside. Lucifer stopped rather suddenly near a fountain spewing sparkling purple water. He adjusted his gloves, still not turning to look at Hisoka. 

"Exchange program or no," he finally said in a low growl, breaking the tranquillity of the space. "You've made it glaringly obvious to me that you intend to threaten the plans of Diavolo. Plans built upon peace and good intentions. I am asking you now, before you force my hand, to reconsider your stance." A narrowed, piercing red eye glowered in Hisoka's direction as Lucifer turned his head.

"Why didn't you say so before?" Hisoka shrugged, closing his eyes momentarily. He stooped down, opening his arms in an offensive position. "I'd be MORE than happy to change my stance." Lucifer spun around immediately, sensing the threat emanating from Hisoka. He continued to scowl down at the strange interloper. Hisoka watched the minute changes in Lucifer's expression as he made the first move, bursting out of his pose with a strong kick off from his left leg. Time seemed to slow monumentally as Lucifer brought his arm up in a guard to protect his face from a slicing kick of Hisoka's right leg. The guard was effective, allowing Lucifer to swing his arm in a wide arc out behind him, pushing Hisoka back into his squatted stance a few feet away. Hisoka couldn't help himself but groan with delight. 

"You've made a grave error," Lucifer muttered under his breath. He sloughed off his draping coat with a thrust of his shoulders backwards, his hands busying themselves by undoing his cuffs, rolling the sleeves up to his elbows. 

"If you keep underestimating me, demon, you'll soon find it was you who made the error." Hisoka didn't even give Lucifer time to absorb his snarky retort, once again sprinting forward in a direct attack. Lucifer blocked every jab of his sharp-taloned hand with ease, the expression on his face one of complete focus and calm. Hisoka tried to sweep his legs, Lucifer simply hopped back out of the way. He tried to grab him, but every time was met with a return hit to a nearby pressure point - his elbow, his wrist. They didn't hurt, but they did encourage him enough to let go. But that was fine; after a few dozen touches on various parts of Lucifer's body, Hisoka was ready to show his hand. Taking a few distancing hops back, Hisoka finally stood to his full height. Lucifer flashed him a coy smirk.

"Had enough already?" he called triumphantly. "I've not even broken a sweat!" Hisoka simply leered back, raising his hands, palms down, to shoulder height. He twitched his right index finger. Lucifer felt a sharp pull on his left arm. He jolted forward awkwardly as his body staggered without his command. "What in the seven hells?" Hisoka barked an ugly, demeaning laugh as he wiggled and wagged his fingers in a rhythmless dance. Lucifer's limbs flailed around like a puppet on strings. Little did he know that to Hisoka, that's exactly what he was.

"Dance little demon!" Hisoka hissed as Lucifer's head snapped up to give him a fiery stare. 

"What kind of filthy human magic is this?" Lucifer snarled furiously. "Unhand me this instant!" Hisoka forced Lucifer into a series of amusing, embarrassing poses as he hummed and hawed over his decision.

"Make me," he eventually cajoled childishly, watching as his words snapped something in the eldest demon brother. In an inferno of rage, Lucifer unveiled his demon form. Four large wings burst from his back, two curled horns protruded from behind his ears, his nails extended into vicious claws. With a roar, Lucifer charged forward with tremendous speed. Hisoka raised his eyebrows in surprise, realising that this transformation had nullified the Bungee Gum he had set previously before he had managed to have any real fun with it. Lucifer's attacks were feral, raking swipes that Hisoka struggled to fully block, taking a few ragged wounds to his forearm as he attempted to dodge the onslaught. Despite his speed and power, Lucifer left himself open to counter just long enough for Hisoka to land a solid punch to his cheek, sending him spiralling into the floor a short distance away. As the demon slowly rose back to his feet, Hisoka quickly engaged Texture Surprise to hide the wounds Lucifer had given him, a move that seemed to further incense him.

"You humans are all the same," he rumbled, low in the back of his throat, wiping a trickle of blood from the corner of his mouth. "You all fight dirty. You have no honour. No PRIDE." He flexed his wings, a shimmering confetti of black feathers littering the ground around him. Hisoka briefly considered taking one as a souvenir. Lucifer rolled his shoulders back, watching Hisoka’s beady eyes darting around the feathers on the floor before swiftly returning to meet his own. There was a brief, tense pause as both fighters waited for the other to make the first move. Lucifer’s aura, that black fog that had followed him, swirled and danced between them as they fought, was growing. Hisoka could just about taste the murderous intent in it. As the demon dusted himself down, Hisoka breathed in the Ren flooding the battlefield. In that moment he realised that regardless of his strength and magical ability, Lucifer had no real awareness of his aura. It was directly tied to his emotions, his sense of self-control. Whatever little was left of that control was quickly frittering away, if this torrent of aura was anything to go by. The mere thought of it was enough to excite Hisoka.

“I was content with sending you back to the human realm. You made it clear you were a danger to us, but now I see that my assumption was lacking,” Lucifer spat, “you’re a danger to anything that lives. For the benefit of the three realms…” His aura flashed a brilliant red as the fire in the demon’s eyes exploded to life. Hisoka admired the pretty light show with mild amusement. Lucifer’s eyes closed as his hand, now cupped around a bright blue flame, repeatedly snuffed out and reignited the cinders with every flex of his fist. He raised his eyes back to Hisoka’s.

“I’m going to end you.”

With those words the demon disappeared. Mildly concerned but attempting not to show it, Hisoka stood his ground casually. The wounds on his arms were beginning to leak through the gauze he had bound with Texture Surprise. He wouldn’t be so keen to lose those limbs again. He could feel the cold sweat beading on the back of his neck as he reached out with his En for any sign of Lucifer. To his surprise, the demon slipped through his defence, and only Hisoka’s own astounding reflexes prevented him from losing more than just an arm. A clawed hand engulfed in those scorching blue flames swept past where his neck once was. The sheer heat from the magic was enough to still sting his skin, even as he contorted his long body to the side to avoid it. Hisoka continued to twist his body into a cartwheel, spinning a leg up to deflect Lucifer’s left hand as he turned it to use it on the slippery magician. As Lucifer disappeared once more, his ambush having failed but worth trying again, Hisoka considered how he would try to detect him. En wouldn’t work, that much was clear; the engulfing aura that Lucifer had left around them was so stifling it perfectly masked the demon. Above him, Hisoka could hear the most gentle fluttering - feathers, he realised - and his instincts told him to dodge. He rolled into the blinding aura as a solid heel came crashing to the ground. Lucifer stood, a look of annoyance now on his face as his wings peeled back and exposed him once more.

“I thought you said we humans fought dirty,” Hisoka sneered, his upper lip twitching into a strained smirk. Lucifer merely shrugged.

“Fight fire with fire, is that not what you say?” he snarked in reply, brandishing his flaming hands with a flourish. Hisoka committed the vision to memory; oh he was beautiful. That attitude - how he yearned to wipe that cocky grin from his smarmy, gorgeous face. He reached under his wristbands to produce a small selection of playing cards, deftly fanning and throwing them all at once. Lucifer brought his hands together, firing a wide arc of flame in Hisoka’s direction, reducing the cards to ashes. Hisoka, meanwhile, ducked under it, rushing headlong at the demon under the protection of his own offense. He landed a solid uppercut on Lucifer’s chin, his arm punching cleanly between Lucifer’s. Unlike before, the demon merely staggered somewhat, the cone of fire spewing upwards and into the sky. Hisoka didn’t anticipate the jutting knee that rammed him right in the chest, a blow so strong he felt the crack of bones under his skin. He flopped back onto the ground, the hard thud of smooth brickwork against his back. He instinctively raised a hand to his aching clavicle, the warm dripping of blood from his forearm giving him more cause for concern. Proud and arrogant, a slightly bruised Lucifer stood over his quarry. He had doused the magic in his hands, and instead seemed poised to use those once-pristine leather brogues to finish Hisoka off.

“You were warned,” Lucifer scowled, all sense of banter and joking aside. The low tone of his voice indicated he did not relish what he was about to do.

“And you were right,” Hisoka countered wheezily, “we humans do play dirty.” He quickly retrieved the last remaining card in his store, the Ace of Hearts. Holding it between two fingers he angled his arm back to fire it upwards into the face of the demon towering above him once more. But as it left his fingers, it, along with everything else around them, froze. Even Lucifer, his head turned back to the RAD building, noticing something Hisoka had not, was stuck.

“Lucifer,” the voice of the Demon Prince was tinged with disappointment. “This is not what I meant when I gave you your task.” His amber eyes surveyed the pair as a small, twin-tailed demon stood behind, a glowing teal hand raised graciously in a halt command. “It looks like we arrived just in time, Barbatos,” Diavolo continued, his eyes narrowing on Hisoka. “They likely would have killed each other were you not here to stop them.” The accompanying demon nodded. 

“Yes m’lord,” he muttered quietly. “What should we do with them? Surely we cannot allow them to continue the exchange program after this?” Diavolo heaved a sorrowful sigh, his broad shoulders slumping as he exhaled. 

“Thankfully, this human was sent to us in error. We should return him to where he came from. And you, Lucifer, you will fix up this courtyard before the real exchange student arrives. I would hope you will be a lot kinder to THEM.” Hisoka turned his gaze back to Lucifer, who was glaring down at him once again.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Hisoka managed to pout as the holding magic on them faded, “give it a few decades and I’ll be back. See you in hell, pretty boy.” He moved his finger once towards him, activating Bungee Gum one last time, dragging Lucifer’s face down to his. Barbatos changed his hand from a halt to a snap, and with a click of his fingers, and a peck on Lucifer’s cheek, Hisoka was gone. His ace fluttered harmlessly to the floor at Lucifer’s feet. Despite feeling so sore, Lucifer had never felt so _alive_. As he picked up the rogue card, he smirked to himself. He would be waiting. And next time, he would be prepared.


End file.
